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Chapter 6: Hiding in Full View

April 8, 2013

From Ezra the Dream Traveller: A Song for Aba 

Chapter 6: Hiding in Full View

I was ready to see my dad, but I wasn’t ready to talk to him about this yet. I considered going to Safe Aba’s safe bed. This is one way that Aba always makes me feel safe. Mom might be able to protect my body, but Aba makes me feel safe inside. He would criticize me for using a cliché, but I’ll say it – Aba can protect my soul. I didn’t want to disturb him – yet.

I lay in my bunk staring at the ceiling that Aba painted for me when he moved in. I rehearsed the conversation in my mind – not wanting to trouble him, not wanting to deceive him. Do I even tell him about these dreams? This is about the eighth time I had the same type of dream, one adding something new to the next. Why the girl? Why the forest? Why the Nazi? And what is happening with those angry red holes, that I now see as eyes?

Remember Ezra, I told myself. Aba hasn’t been the same since the breakup. Don’t give him anything he can’t handle. But then I thought, He’s my dad! Who else can I tell?

I was not happy. But I had to wake up in a few hours. I could head upstairs and watch some TV. There’s a Scooby-Doo DVD up there. If that wouldn’t do it, nothing would.

That morning, Aba made banana walnut pancakes. I spent more time than usual with Ruchama upstairs and, when we went to her gymnastics classes (my excuse to get out of going to synagogue! Whee!) I spent more time than usual commenting on the class. Then we got to go to my golf class. Pizza for dinner. No gruyere, gorgonzola, or fresh mozzarella. No problem. Videos. Bed. No eyes.

Religious school Sunday morning. Eagles game at 1. Aba kind of likes football, although he played the world kind and not the American kind when he was my age. He lived in Israel. We throw footballs around on the street. They kicked soccer balls around the cheder-ochel, the dining hall. But this was the first time I ever watched a whole game with him. I don’t much care about any sport unless I’m playing it. Ruchama kept taking Aba to the third floor to practice her tumbling routines. Then we headed out to the playground at ChestnutHillAcademy and climbed the spider web.

I got home on Tuesday to learn that Mom took me away from Aba. Why? I told her not to! I told her that the man Aba was tring to help back on his feet was harmless. I told her I wanted more time with Aba, not less! But NOOOOOOO. She keeps me safe. That’s what she does. And the hell with my heart if I don’t like it.

I knew I had to go to the angry red holes.

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One Comment
  1. The story really sucks me in! …and now I want banana walnut pancakes.

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